The Beginner’s Guide To Self-Acceptance – Part 1
I’ve been blogging in this niche for just over a year now, but I’ve never really sat down and talked about how/when it started for me and which advice I followed etc. So, here it is!
I really hope that you find this helpful!
Why Is It So Difficult?
In preparation for this post I read lots of articles (like I usually do) and this one in particular made a really interesting point – “we were raised in a society (and likely a family) that didn’t teach us about self-love”. Now, this doesn’t mean that we were raised badly or anything of the sought – but for most of us self-acceptance, of any kind, wasn’t really discussed at home or at school – and I think that this needs to change! We were taught so many things growing up including manners, how to behave and how to treat other people – but very little was mentioned about how to treat and love ourselves.
A good friend of mine has raised her children to believe in themselves and live knowing that they are good enough and to accept themselves – and these children are some of the most kind and amazing individuals that I have met – I completely admire them and their family.
The Negative Stigma Around Self-Love
Have you ever been called selfish for wanting to have a self-care day? For wanting to spend some time looking after yourself? There is definitely a lot of negativity around putting yourself first and making sure that you’re happy & healthy within yourself. I’m a firm believer in the thought that if you aren’t looking after yourself, then you can’t really look after other people in the way that you may wish. If I’m having a bad day, it generally comes through in how I am with other people and how I perform at work (not great).
This photo is the summer before I started learning about self-acceptance
It’s A Journey
When talking about self-acceptance and self-love it tends to sound like it’s a destination. ‘Once you accept yourself you won’t ever feel bad again’ – but that’s not true. Self-acceptance is a journey. You’ll have good days, and you’ll have bad days. Sometimes you’ll feel like you can take on the world and others you’ll just about be able to look at yourself in the mirror. But all of this is okay! Things will get easier, and the bad days won’t always feel so bad. You’re human and life isn’t all peaches & cream.
Other People Don’t Define You
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all’ – but there are a lot of people out there who will say horrible things to you. Some of those people may just be being outright horrible. But I’m sure a lot of people will tell you that they’re saying it from a place of ‘love’ and ‘care’. Just because they think or say that it comes from a good place, doesn’t mean that it actually does, and it doesn’t mean that you can’t be upset by their words.
However, it’s so important to remember that other people don’t define you! Their negativity comes from their life and experiences and doesn’t reflect on you. It’s not easy to do, but it’s a helpful skill to learn.
Tips For Practicing Self-Acceptance
Affirmations Aren’t As Cringe As They May Seem
Starting your morning by saying something kind to yourself may feel weird – but I’ve noticed such a difference in my mood since I started doing it. It’s so easy to wake up and instantly be negative – ‘I’m so tired’, ‘work is going to suck’, ‘I look terrible’ etc. These negative thoughts can easily impact your attitude for the rest of the day. However, if you start your day with positive thoughts – ‘I’m thankful to be alive’, ‘I can take on anything that today throws at me’, ‘I deserve to feel happiness’ etc this will encourage your mind to have a more positive outlook.
It takes practice and won’t instantly improve your life, but it definitely helps!
Write It Down
If saying positive things out loud isn’t for you, then how about writing it down? You could write nice things about yourself or things that made you happy in your day. Focussing on the positives in some way definitely helps (although don’t be positive for the sake of it, but that’s a whole other subject). There are some lush gratitude journals out there (for example), which make it even easier to think of things to write.
Other things that you could write down include your goals and dreams. We often spend so much time helping others achieve their dreams that we forget about our own. Self-acceptance and self-love means learning to put effort into your own life and striving for whatever it is that makes your heart happy – because you deserve to be happy!
Set Boundaries
In my experience, this is probably one of the most difficult things to learn on your self-acceptance journey. Setting boundaries can feel negative and stand-offish, but they’re so important! Something I’ve learnt is that those who react negatively to your boundaries, are those who used & manipulated you the most.
If you’re looking for more boundary setting tips then I highly recommend you follow Jo of Mad and Sad Club – she is incredible!
After looking at my notes I can see that this post could go on forever, so I’m going to finish it here. However, keep your eyes peeled for a part 2 coming soon!
How does this post make you feel? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below! And if you have any tips or advice that you want me to include in part 2, send me a DM over on Instagram!
Cerys x
